A Leap Of Faith

I can’t imagine having been anywhere else then Seattle these past few days. I meant it when I said spontaneity is a very real and beautiful action. I have no doubt in my mind that this trip was worth the setback in my savings and trek across, well, the country.

Meeting Bob Goff was inspiring. Hearing Donald Miller speak was life changing.

I’ve never felt so motivated to just live and love people. That sounds simple, but I’m sure we can agree that it’s harder than it sounds. When I say “to just live,” I don’t mean simply breathing and participating in the world. I mean actually living out those passions we dream about and the adventures we write down as “some days.”

Because I don’t believe in some day. In the “some day I will be a better person” or “some day I will find love” and “some day I will visit that place.” Or “some day i’ll find the courage to be honest with someone.” Those are all things I have spent my life saying. It’s not going to be easy to just blurt out the answers, but:

 What are we waiting for?

That’s what Bob and Donald and others were asking us at this “family gathering” as Bob liked to call it.

I know this is morbid, but sometimes I really think we’re all waiting for some sort of near-death experience or intense tragedy to happen in our lives to force us to start living honestly. I’ll admit that if either of those were to happen, they probably would change my life perspective and get me moving. But that’s so sad! We need death or tragedy to occur before we can start really living – does anyone else see the irony in that!? I’m sure you all do.

I never thought my life was going to take the turns that it has. People have always told me that I was “going to do great things” in my life and I just expected those great things to happen. I feel like I’m still waiting for those to happen and I just impatiently stay seated, tapping my feet and wondering why I’m going nowhere. But I remember this empty feeling of loneliness that invites itself to sit beside you. I remember trying to replace that emptiness with boys or alcohol.

I remember thinking I had to go through things alone to become a stronger person.

What I learned at Love Does with Bob and Donald is that God is love. That Jesus is always going to unconditionally love us and that accepting that love can only do good things for us. So, I started asking myself over these past few days – what have I been waiting for?  Why have I been so afraid to let Him in until now?

I think it’s because we want to think we don’t need Him. But, really, He just wants to bond with us.

Growing up I was always the curious kid in my catholic religion classes bugging my teachers with a million questions. When my dog passed away, I let my frustrations with God out on them, begging them to let me believe that God loved my dog just has much as He loves me. I wanted to know that I would see my dog in heaven because they told me I wouldn’t. I questioned sin and the honesty behind what they were preaching. I was curious – or at least that was how I saw it. Instead of encouraging that curiosity, I was always shot down with the same response: that being a “true follower” means one doesn’t have to question.

I don’t agree with that.

For those of you who don’t know the story of where I was and why this past week, here’s the short version to catch you up:

I started reading  Love Does by Bob Goff on accident. Every now and then I order new books on Amazon and Bob Goff was a name stuck in my head after some friends suggested I give him a read. These are the same friends who told me to read Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller as a way to feel comfortable about asking questions again.

I started reading Love Does on a Sunday. After two chapters, I wrote Bob a letter. On Monday, I e-mailed Bob to ask about the free tickets he had to his conference in Tacoma, WA. I thought it was a long shot, but he responded back with in twenty minutes telling me that if I got on a plane and flew out to Washington, he would give me the free tickets and would like to meet me. I called off work and booked a flight that night. I graduated college the following Sunday and flew out to Seattle on a Wednesday. I met Bob on Thursday and the next two days were an emotional turmoil of learning how to love God and love people.

It was a big leap of faith. A leap into something that could’ve been incredibly awkward and uncomfortable for me – being a non-Christian in a room of Christians who love and praise the Lord. There were times I felt out of place in the sense that I wasn’t sure what my intentions were for being there. But every time I stood in that room and listened to people speak; or discussed Jesus and love with the people I met; I never felt so loved or at home in my life. Bob kept calling it a “family gathering” and it really was.

You probably think I joined a cult don’t you?

I had people tell me to make sure I wasn’t getting myself into a cult. I have since proven them wrong and assured them that, if I am in a cult, it’s a cult of love and living, which is far better than the cult of materialism the rest of the world seems to be a part of.

I’m not telling you that you have to love God. I’m not telling you that you have to be more spontaneous to live a good life. I’m not telling you that you’re part of a cult if you don’t believe in God. Believe me, I’ve spent years of trying to prove my teachers wrong; of trying to do everything but believe. But that only brought me bitterness and darkness.

A speaker at my college graduation said, “it’s better to be interested than interesting.”

I think that’s what this is about.

Life can be as grand of an adventure as you want or don’t want it to be. It’s the same way with loving and accepting God. I’ve been on quite the adventure with Him – ask my friend Chris and he’ll smile at how far I’ve come. In fact, Chris gave me a children’s Bible because he knows me well enough that I needed it to get me started. It’s like having training wheels almost. You don’t just jump right into this stuff- it takes time and you have to slowly build.

I am in a very good place right now – I don’t have it all figured it out, but I know who I am; what I want to do and what the next step is. For me, that’s being honest and living a life of meaning and doing good for others. I just see so many people with brilliant talents that they use with so much security. I think my job as a writer is going to be to inspire the heck out of all of you so you stop waiting and start doing. 

But honestly, that’s my biggest take away from this leap of faith. Sure, I spent two weeks working full time only to use all of that money on a plane ticket, but instead of measuring life in those transactions, I look at what an incredible adventure I had with my friends in Washington and exploring my faith. It was totally worth it. 

So my advice to all of you is to not be afraid to take a leap of faith.

Relax. Breathe. Believe and let go.

And have a brilliant adventure.

P.S.

Pretty sure I’m convinced I am moving to Seattle. At some point. I just really love this city.

 

Dear Chris & Jeannie:

I am writing to you from this blog of mine because you are in the Smokey Mountains and probably don’t have much service. Or maybe by the time I actually post this, you’re in Florida. Or Texas. I would write you a letter (because you know how much I love doing that) but your address is currently a blue Prius and I don’t think a mail carrier will have any luck tracking you down. So I am speaking to you here (and whomever else decides to read this) to tell you about this little adventure I am on.

It started with a book.

Chris, you gave me your copy of Donald Miller’s “Blue Like Jazz” to read and start understanding what faith and Christianity are about. Maybe you thought he would speak to me. Or maybe you were tired of me asking you so many questions. I don’t think you were because I’m pretty sure we both enjoyed our “Life Group” chats and “Meat Monday” burger discussions. Whatever the reason, this book helped me relate to many questions and misunderstandings I had been having in my life.

Then there was a second book called “Love Does.” I didn’t tell you I started reading it, mostly because I started reading it by accident. I was buying some running books on Amazon and for some reason the name Bob Goff was stuck in my head after our Acadia camping trip. You told me the story about the interviews with world leaders; and the boat. You told me I would get a kick out of Bob, so I looked him up in Amazon and came across “Love Does.” I’ll admit I bought the book because I liked the cover and title. They tell you to “never judge a book by its cover,” and I think that’s true for people, but not always true for books. I judged this book by its cover and it worked out pretty well for me.

My point is: I started reading Love Does and after two chapters, I put the book down on my bed, moved to my desk and started writing Bob a letter. I just felt compelled to do so because you were right: I got a kick out of him and the way he views, well, life and love.

I did a little more research about Bob and heard about the Love Does conference in Tacoma, WA. I thought about going, but knew I couldn’t afford the conference tickets AND airfare. I figured there would be other opportunities and went back to reading. I kept reading and found so much truth in his stories. The next night during my “pre-going to bed Twitter check, “ I noticed a Tweet from Bob mentioning someone had purchased tickets to the conference to be given to someone who couldn’t afford to go. He had tweeted this seven hours ago, so I figured someone had already gotten them.

But, I was curious and thought “what if?” What if the tickets were still available? Would I fly out to Seattle by myself to go meet some author I just started reading? Would I go to a conference based on love and Jesus – a person I was just getting to know? Would that be really awkward for me to go when I’m new to all of this?

I sent Bob an e-mail and asked. I told him a little bit about my story. I told him I had just sent him a letter and he could read that to know a little more about me. I told him I lived in Boston but that I could pay the airfare to come out or a few days if he could give me the tickets.

Twenty minutes later he responded. He told me that if I got on a plane and flew out to Tacoma, the tickets were mine.

So you know what I did?

I know you know what I did.

And just like that, I booked a flight, took off work and now I’m in Washington.

Some people think it’s just me being ridiculous again and spending all the money I just saved to travel. Some people told me to be careful I’m not “getting myself into a cult,” while others smiled and said “of course you did.”  But I like that someone called it a “great leap of faith,” the most. Because that’s how it feels – a leap of faith.

I have no idea what to expect from this. This is one of my more spontaneous decisions – to fly across the country to meet someone I only know through a book; to learn about spreading love when I can barely accept it myself; and to hear people talk about following the footsteps of Jesus, who is someone the two of you only recently introduced me to.

But I’m not scared – I’m incredibly excited! This “leap of faith” reminds me that I’m ready to be a part of all of this. I’m done hiding in my own darkness or surrounding myself with unanswered questions that remain unanswered because I’m afraid to ask or know the answer. I do want to know what love does. What it can do. And how Jesus can help you have that. I kind of like this guy. I’m grateful you both helped him find me. And even more that you didn’t just let me slam the door in his face when I couldn’t understand how you expected me to believe Noah actually built an ark and filled it with animals. I’m still working on all of this, but, I just wanted you both to know this little story. I thought you might get a kick out of it! 😉

I have two days full of love and Jesus. I will write to you both again after and let you know how it goes.

Spontaneity is a very real and very beautiful action.

P.S.

Your adventures keep me wanting to have adventures.

Let’s prevent bullying through music.

Aside from being an adventurer, I’m also an activist for causes I care about; people and music. Which is why my on-for-one business, Hold On Another Day means the world to me because it connects people and causes through music. Music for a cause. Empowering people through music. Giving people hope. In this case, hope comes in the form of a mixtape:

Songs For Project Believe In Me is designed as a support system for people suffering from mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, stress or suicide brought on by problems related to bullying.

So, yeah, that’s right – let’s prevent bullying by listening to positive music and sharing stories of overcoming bullies through lyrics. 

And get this – for every CD sold, one will be donated to a youth counseling program in a high school or middle school where bullying is a prominent issue.

Each of these artists has a story and a message they want you to hear. They overcame bullying and they wrote these songs so you or your friend can overcome the struggle too.

Enough is enough – bullying should not be an issue in a school, at home, on the playground, in an office or anywhere for that matter. Let’s empower ourselves through music and give those suffering something to believe in – like these songs.

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” ― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

One of my favorite quotes ever.