You Just Have To Go.

Make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure.

– Jon Krakauer, Into The Wild

(Photo credit: @isosawey)

It was 9:00 when I woke up yesterday morning and texted my friend Chris “happy birthday.” He said thanks and asked if I had looked outside yet. I was confused, having laid in bed since 8:30 debating whether or not I wanted to get up early. The trash trucks come on Wednesday mornings, so I had heard them outside my window – was that what he wanted me to see? I sat up in my bed and peered through the blinds: there was snow EVERYWHERE.

I jumped from my bed, ran to my living room and looked out the windows. SNOW. Boston has snow! It’s felt like April since I returned back to the city, tricking my mind to believe we were closer to summer than we actually are. But this was real, tiny bunches of snow falling lightly from the sky, sticking – yes, sticking- to the ground and trees.

“AHH!” I txted him back, “what are we going to do!? Build a snowman!? A fort!? Go sledding! LET’S GO SLEDDING. Hot chocolate!?” There were so many ideas racing through my mind, I’ve just missed having snow. Even though I had so much when I was home in Ohio, it’s not the same when you’re in the city.

Quickly I started researching hills in the city that we could sled down. I had found one not to far from us in Brookline, MA but we needed to make or buy sleds somehow. Before I jumped into the shower, Chris had sent me a txt saying he would just be at his house shoveling the snow all day in the front yard. I thought to myself “that’s no way to spend a birthday, we need to do something crazy!” Then I realized: I don’t want to go sledding in the city. I don’t want to be in the city at all. I thought, If I were in Ohio I would probably go hiking in Cuyahoga Valley with my friends, where the waterfalls would be breaking through ice and the trees would plop piles of snow from above. But I had a few pieces of work to do today and Chris had his first day of class in the afternoon. I asked him if he was going to school and, when he told me he wasn’t, I quickly grabbed my computer and looked up the nearest ZipCar rental location.

I found one nearby and I could get it for half the day. I told him I wanted to go to the mountains and that I was renting a zipcar and would pick him up in twenty minutes. I told him to pack a bag.

So, that’s what we did. Between getting dressed, reserving a zipcar and throwing hiking clothes into a bag, I quickly ate a pop tart and ran out the door. I think I ran in and out of my apartment three times before I knew I actually had everything I needed: keys, wallet, backpack, zipcard. Chris ran to the store, bought some snacks for the road; I got the zip car, picked him up and we were off.

(photo credit: @isosawey)

I wanted to go to the white mountains in NH because I had just been skiing there and couldn’t get their image out of my mind. But, Chris reminded me you can only go so many miles in a zipcar so, we unfortunately couldn’t go that far. We decided to head to Wompatuck State Park and either mountain bike or hike through an area of the park we’d never been. We decided to pull go somewhere new and just hike in and around the park. We didn’t really care where we were going, just that it was somewhere that wasn’t Boston.

(photo credit: @ikthottam)

While driving, we pulled off the road to see a cool frozen lake. That’s when Chris climbed ontop the car to get a good Instagram shot. So I instagramed him instagraming.

Anyway, what I learned today was that it’s so easy to fall back into a routine and hurt your brain thinking too much about the things you really want to do and see in life. My transition into “reality” has been slow and has had its ups and downs. I work a few jobs and I’m trying to make a living, but I know I am only really living when I’m out there, driving to somewhere I’ve never been with the city behind me. And nothing beats fulfilling a spontaneous adventure with a good friend. It’s nice to have those people in your life because it reminds you that there are people out there who don’t think you’re crazy when you just want to get out and explore. I think that’s why I like having this blog, too, because the fact that people are reading and liking my posts shows me that other people think this way, so we’re not crazy for being too creative or adventurous to have a regular, boring old job.

So, whatever it is you’ve been wanting to do lately: just go. I promise you, you’ll feel so much better when you return.

About Spontaneity

A classmate once told me:

“Don’t ever forget that spontaneity you have in you.”

He was trying to convince me to let him fly me in his tiny jet (I hate small planes) to Pennsylvania (there are nice areas in the state) for a weekend getaway (I wasn’t into him.) But I liked that he said this about me so I wrote it down in a word journal so I would always remember that at least one person thought of me as being spontaneous at some point in my life. So I wouldn’t forget that.

And I did forget that.

I love adventures, but lately I’ve been holding back on doing certain things and I’m not entirely sure why. Some of it comes from a long chat I had with my parents where they expressed their fears and concerns about the way I live my life.

“We don’t want to see you fall behind, on making a living,” they will tell me.

I still beat myself over the head for being so afraid of that cliff jump in Washington this summer. I still can’t figure out why I let my fear consume me so much that I’d become quiet just thinking about the rocks. So I’ll admit, I’ve been a bit hesitant to do things lately because I’ve been feeding in to my fears and the fears of those around me.

But there’s always a new day, a second chance to let those fears be silenced.

Today was that day for me.

I was up this morning compiling some packages for my business, Hold On Another Day, and drove to Watertown, MA to ship out some orders. As I got back into my car and set up my GPS to head home, I thought about the leftover soup in my fridge that I could heat up. That’s when I realized: I’ve made two different kinds of soup in the past three days; baked a batch of cookies; put up two string art designs on my walls and crafted three new decorations for my apartment. I’ve been sitting in my living room getting into a routine where I rotate between writing books/screenplays and blogs and cooking soup.

“God, I hate routines,” I thought to myself. Then I remembered the adress to a location in Northern MA that I had been wanting to explore: Plum Island. I knew it wouldn’t be as pretty as it would be in the Spring or Summer, but it’s right outside Newburyport, MA and people had been telling me I’d love this little town.

So you know what I did? I typed in that address and drove an hour to Plum Island.  I put a playlist on shuffle and sang at the top of my lungs, not even caring when I knew people were watching me as they passed me in their Mini Coopers and SUVs.

When I arrived at the Joppa National Park visitor center, I browsed through the gift shop and found this gem of a t-shirt. I’ve been meaning to start a collection of things from National Parks since I’ve been to a couple lately (most notably Muir Woods in San Francisco and the Olympic National Park.) And I have to say, this is probably the coolest shirt I will ever own:

I chatted with the saleswoman for a bit (she mentioned she loved this shirt and was excited when I told her I was starting a collection) and told me I have to see Yosemite and Glacier National Park . She said I have to see them to understand. I believe her and I will venture to both one day. She was a cool lady – she was a volunteer and mentioned the NPS takes volunteers on vacations to other national parks – yep, some day I will retire as a park ranger or NPS volunteer!

I drove around the island to see what it was like. Turns out, I was right in thinking the island wouldn’t be as cool in the winter. It seems like a really sweet beach town in the summer though – I’m making a mental note to return. Regardless, the landscape was intriguing and I got a few good shots:

I grew hungry, having skipped lunch to embark on this journey, so I searched Yelp for a cafe in Newburyport and discovered the heart of the town … which is SO FREAKING CUTE. I had lunch at a cafe in the Tannery, which is a cool marketplace  full of local  businesses and a vegan cafe:

I ended up having the best time exploring this area. There were so many cute stores with great deals and random treasures. For example, I stumbled into this antique store where the sweetest older woman worked and found a vintage, old photograph of the Taj Mahal (in a frame too!) hiding in the back of the store:

The woman was so adorable (and excited that I was buying so many things) and I valued her wisdom. She asked me if I collected anything and I laughed, replying with “I collect random things I find from places.” She laughed and said “you’re at the right place and besides, those are always the most memorable treasures.” She was so right. I also bought a bunch of old fruit ads from the 60s, figuring they’d be fun to add to the white walls in my kitchen. Maybe i’ll put up a photo of those later.

Anyway, whoever told me I would love Newburyport really knows me. It’s the perfect little town, complete with lights strung through the streets at night and old, antique stores with kind, adorable elderly women – my favorite!

You know, it’s true that a little spontaneity can lead to the best experiences. I wouldn’t say this was one of my “greatest experiences ever,” or even all that life-changing; it was just one of those decisions that I’m glad I made instead of going home to watch Friends and eat homemade soup.

In the words of the elderly woman from the antique store “young people just have so many amazing opportunities these days.” You know what, she’s right. We’re lucky we live in a world – a culture – where we at least have the opportunity to live out our adventures, mini or grand, and we shouldn’t let the concerns of others add concern to our minds. Especially when it wasn’t previously there.

I’m sorry I got a little preachy and “self-advising” there, but, I just think it’s important to remember to feed into our desire to explore as opposed to feeding more into our homesickness and thoughts of “but I deserve to stay in and watch a whole season of Dexter today.” Nah, come on people (myself included) let’s start saying “but I deserve to take that cross-country road trip, now!”

The end.

It’s happening, it’s really happening.

I’m graduating college in a few months and I can hardly believe this is real. I’m usually not one to jump ahead and think so far into the future, but this time, it’s a bit different.

I’m beginning to realize I don’t know where to call home. Home will always be Ohio because I grew up there, but ever since I moved to Boston, it’s felt less like home and more just the place I return to every now and then. It’s home for the comfort, but not home for where I want to be home. 

Do you follow?

Maybe I’m freaking out a bit; or maybe I’m freaking out just the right amount. I often think about my daily schedule in the Spring, while I spend my last few months in Boston. I love my apartment and everything I’m doing, but none of it feels like home at the end of the day. This is mostly because I yearn to travel outside the city, backwards to the mountains or toward an oceanic horizon. It seems that I found home on the road this summer. I enjoyed that there was not one place I considered home. I felt at home in my apartment in LA; but I also felt at home in other people’s apartments in San Francisco or Denver. But mostly in Washington. I miss everything about that place that I want to call it home, even though I know it isn’t.

I’m at a loss right now – I’m just at that awkward stage in my life where I either continue building my life in one place; move to another place and start over again…or I can just keep traveling and keep living.

I really don’t know what the conclusion of this post is.